The Rio Grande ain't so "grande" LOL

Great story you 2 are something else !!!!!

When my wife falls asleep in a public place,
I shake her a little and yell, "Don't you die on me"
People always clap when she wakes up!!!

Therapist: What is the problem?
Wife: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me.
Me: I don't do it on porpoise

I love when I leave work early to surprise my wife at home and she greets me
with those three very special words:
Were You Fired??????

I do not understand how God can have TEN Commandments for the whole world,
and my wife can have 152 just for our house. WTF

The Mrs & I have been married so long she can finish my sentences.
She also starts most of them and supplies the middle parts too.

My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless.

It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth.

OK, here one for ya's
Therapist: So why do you want to end your marriage?
Wife: I hate the constant StarWars puns
Husband: Divorce is strong with this one!

I sincerely apologize for asking about Diane and Don's daughter. I had no idea that Bernath had so infected this community that rather than being friends on a pay access board, we assume everyone is out to insult one another. I asked what I did thinking nothing other than your daughter was shy, etc... perhaps living somewhere else. Should I have worded my question better? Yes. But you people assume the worse here assume the worst intentions! Wow. Calling a guy you don't know "shit for brains" right off the bat. Incredible. I will go away now.